Married people dating for boys and girls in love 2016
Others have more difficulty, their mind confused because what they are doing is so contrary to what they believe and value. Others blame it on their spouse’s actions or lack of actions.
Underlying vulnerabilities very likely made the new relationship possible.
However, once you fell in love with another person than your spouse, things got rather intense.
Perhaps you’ve gone further and the relationship has turned physical.
Highly revered marriage researcher John Gottman writes in his book …many clinicians…have been quick to point out that ‘affairs involve sex, but sex is usually not the purpose of the affair’…In fact, most clinicians who have written in this area report that affairs are usually about seeking friendship, support, understanding, and validation…they are about getting the acceptance that is missing in the marriage.” My work with thousands of couples in crisis indicates that this is exactly the case.
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She accepts that her marriage is nothing more than a good friendship and always has been. She acknowledges that she’s lived a majority of her life trying to make other people happy and “do the right thing” and never put her own happiness first. The day we came back home, she told her husband about us and asked him to move to his parents’ house. As expected, she got little support or understanding. They finally admitted that they knew the marriage was in trouble for years despite the calm appearance.
My belief (confirmed by her words) is that she is going to counseling to try to figure out how to navigate the end of a relationship she’s been in for half of her life. Well, it would appear that I have run out the string on being in a secondary relationship. Yes, the tide has turned and I feel like it’s a matter of time before EVERYTHING changes. She withdrew from some friends for similar reasons. During this time, we spent more time together than ever. But the reality of the change is still emotional and raw.
It may be difficult for you to know exactly how you got into this situation.
Some are honest enough with themselves that they know step-by-step how everything came to be as it is now.